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Tomorrow is the 1st and I'm starting again, again. My Dad's gone on holidays and not home till monday next week so i'll use his absence as a jump start. I'm making out a plan and sticking to it so I'll be at least a little bit more body confident for the start of college, I don't want to go in there and end up cowering in a corner afraid what people think of me.
Soooo here is my plan for this week, scrap that, here's what i'm going to do. I'm making a plan becasue that's how i'm gong to break my binging cycle, i'm miserable like this, I can't stop eating and I fucking hate it! I hate myself. I hate going out and meeting friends. I'm barely able to hold a conversation without being bombarded by horrible internal thoughts. I want to go back to when I could easily say no and when I did say no I was happy and it made my day knowing I wasn't controlled by food.
Okay enough ranting, here's the plan.
Monday (From when I wake up)
Water fast and go to the gym and go kayacking and do strength exercises in morning and evening.
Tuesday
Morning exercises. No breakfast. Go to town and collect phone, don't eat in town. Meet Keith, go home, don't eat for as long as possible but he's most likely staying over so i'll have to eat eventually, will most likely get a take out as I'm not bothered cooking for two. We'll work it off later anyways ;)
Wednesday
Night exercises only if Keith stays over. Mandarine for breakfast. Go for a walk. Mr freezes and fruit popsicle for dinner (for the sugar cravings I'll probably be getting). Dance and jumprope in front of tv in evening.
Thursday
Morning and night exercises. No breakfast. Go to gym before 1 if possible.
Turkey stir fry with pleanty of veg and only a little bit of rice (also using one cal spray rather than oil for stir fry)
Relax in evening or go out with friends.
Friday
Morning and night exercises. No breakfast or lunch or snacks. Dinner only: Brocolli and cauliflower bake with chicken, no carbs. Use low cal white sauce and cheese in the bake. Go for a jog in the evening.
Saturday
Morning and night exercises. Juice fast.
Sunday
Binge. It's the last day I'm home alone and therefore the last day I can eat what ever I like without being judged so that's what I'm going to do. I'm going to get up relatively early do as much exercise as I can before going to tesco and listening to my stomach and getting what ever I feel like. Then I'm going to go home, curl up on the couch and watch movies and eat till I feel ill and tired and fall asleep.
