LaLaLaLife

Everything is a mess, but everything is also not a mess. Get me? Nah, didn't think so. Even I don't get me and I live with me.

So how come the minute I start meeting new people, socialising, being a normal teenager, my so called friends get mad at me, for no reason? I got completely ignored today by my best friend but when I asked her what was wrong she just said "nothing" and returns to being silent. The minute anyone else talks to her she's fine though, laughing, joking, being her usual self. So I know she's mad at me. I think it's because we went to this party and she didn't want to stay over night and I did, so her and Clara ended up getting a taxi back to her house at midnight. I'm sorry if I wanted to stay at the party and spend the night with Stephen (Long story why he's back) but come on, she was acting as if I'd murdered one of her dogs!

Here comes the long story (shortened down) about why he's back. So we went to the park on Friday and I got drunk and started climbing on this roof and Stephen (Found out how to spell his name properly lol) was minding me, trying to help me down off the roof when I got stuck at the top. Then he starting hugging me and saying stuff but he didn't act on anything, he told me at the house party the next day he didn't want to take advantage of me when I was drunk. At the house party we had lots of fun and he was really nice. We got to talk about lots of stuff and best of all he wasn't that drunk so he remembers everthing, That night we only got 3 hours sleep we were up so late talking. We slept in the same bed but that's all, i'm no slut. It was nice just being held. I spent all Sunday and practically all today with him too. And he's even started texting me. I'm really happy because after he told me he didn't want to go out I had given up on having anything with him. Plus nothing good ever comes my way. This could be my something good. My break from such a horrible year.

In english today my teacher raffled off an Easter egg and deep down, while evryone was crossing their fingers hoping for thier name to be called I was counting the odds that I'd be picked and wishing against them, and against the odds anyone I was remotely friends with would win either. I wanted nothing to do with that stupid easter egg.

My dad has finally agreed to stop buying me Jaffa cakes, I've been pleading with him to stop buying them for ages and he keeps saying "No, you just have to learn to control yourself around them". They're my weakness! I can't control myself around them! Give me anything else and I can say no. Just not them!

Got called fat today. Many times. My stephen <.<  He was calling himself fat, which is far from the truth, so I told him If I he was fat then I must be obese and he said "No, just fat". I know he was messing, but it still hurt. I laughed it off my saying "Well if you think your fat then I'll take being called fat from you a compliment". I don't want to eat tomorrow..

It'sEaster holidays soon and they couldn't come sooner. I need to study over them though. I'm so far behind in Geography and French. It'll be hard though, there's so many plans I've already made for the hols. They include many trips to the gym and fast days. Busy days and cleaning days so pre-occupy my mind and keep my busy. Study makes me hungry, Hanging around with friends doesn't.

I've got to say sorry, my posts are always so long. And boring I'm sure.
I'm off to bed now. Nighty Night.
xXxXx