I actually fainted

So as you all know I went to a four day house party last week. I was taking yokes (E) as I'm sure I've said before so of course I wasn't eating.

  On the Friday morning I felt alright, better than I'd thought I'd be anyways, but I did feel really faint. Whenever I was standing for a long time my vision would start to go fuzzy and I'd lose all my energy. It was ok for a while since I could just sit down and I'd be right as rain in no time.  But later in the morning I got up and went over to a mirror to do my hair. There were no places to sit down near the mirror or places to leave down my hair straightener so when my vision started to go and I felt faint again I just tried to push through it. I leaned against the wardrobe and took deep breaths in the hope i'd subside. The next thing I knew I was sitting on the floor directly under where i'd been leaning on the wardrobe. I was still holding my hair straightener and everything. One of my friends was on the bed in the room and looked so confused when I turned round to her. She said one minute I was just standing there the next I fell straight down. 

  I've never and I mean never fainted before. I've felt like I was going to faint many times but actually dropping like a fly? Nope, never happened before. It felt weird.


  I kinda liked it =/

So my weight has settled. I've lost one stone.

I haven't eaten today and I have no appetite.

Haven't taken drugs since Friday last week so that's 10 days.

On Thursday I'm going to a houseparty thing. It starts Thursday and ends Sunday. There'll be a lot of drugs there. When I take yokes I can't eat while on them and definetly not the day afterwards, as i've said before. I'll be taking them Thursday night, Friday night maybe Saturday night. I also don't eat the day before taking them. So I've come to the conclusion I'll eat something Wednesday and that'll be the last thing i'll have for a long time. If I take them Saturday I won't eat until Tuesday.

I don't even know if I'll eat much between now and Wednesday. My mind state isn't great and I have no appetite at all.

I told Kevin , the guy holding the houseparty that I know well I won't be able to eat if we're yoking for three days straight and he said I'll be a stick by Monday. I'm glad he didn't freak when I said I was ok with not eating for at least four days. Fair enough he gets it's because of the yokes but I know a few people who'd have a go at me for saying "I've accepted the fact I'll be having my last meal for quite some time on Wednesday."

I'll post on my other blog about how the Party went.


Stay Safe
xx

I've lost

I've lost a stone in a matter of weeks.

MDMA has stolen away my appetite. I don't eat on days where I know I will be taking it and after I can't eat properly for two days (unless it's really clean) so the days where I can eat are less than those where I can't and voila, lost weight.

It's weird losing weight without trying. I love it. It's way easier.

I mean there's the days where I can't eat because of the drugs but then there's still the regular days where I'll wake up and I won't want food. Like how I've always been. These regular days are normally followed by a binge but not anymore.

I know it's bad but I love it all the same.