Quick Update

So much for my plan to write more often. I just keep forgetting I have a blog now! I'll get used to it eventually.

    Tomorrow I'm starting late after school study. Up to know I've been doing regular after school study which is two hours, and it's over at half 6. Late study is 4 hours not including breaks and is over at 9. In a way i'm dreading it and I know the weeks are going to go by so slowly from no on but then I think, Hey I can fast all week if I want to now. My dad's going to give me a weekly allowance to get my own dinner during the breats and I'll probably pack my own lunch instead of eating a big meal in a restaurant or fast food place with everyone else so I'll get to keep the money he gives me which I will put in my find for my end of year trip to the rainforest (more on that later). I think I'll bring one packet of melba toast (75 cals), an apple (40 cals), one crispbread (29 cals) and 1 litre of water tomorrow, then fast tuesday or something.
             I binged for a whole week last week so I need to make up for that and make myself feel better too. I was so angry at myself two days ago because I lost my purse in the cinema because I went to buy popcorn. If I hadn't gone to bloody eat like a pig I wouldn't have lost it. I ended up relapsing on the self-harm front which made me even more angry with myself because I was doing so well on quitting. I'm more determined now than ever!
            I'm really worried one of my friends is onto me. There were some comments on a friends formspring about eating disorders and I left comments too, and someone wrote saying ''I have a friend who never eats lunch in school, is thin but thinks she's fat and is always on about wanting to be thinner. They haven't lost any significant weight but still. They kinda sounded like the girl below on about EDnos" and I think I know which friend wrote that comment and I really hope i'm wrong and they don't mean me because the girl whos formspring it is is saying to confront her (mabye me, sorry if this is getting confusing) and the other girl (who i think is my friend talking about me) is agreeing, saying she might confront her. If it is this particular friend I could never talk to her about any of this if she knew. We don't click really. I'm just friends with her because she's friends with my other friend. At least she doesn't do late study and won't see me going the entire day on nothing rathar than just thinking I skip lunch.

 Gotta run, it's getting late and I still have homework! I'll be back when I can which probably won't be for ages seeing as I'll practically be living in school from now on.

Ciao,
Xx